|
1. |
|
|
|
|
we hope and hope and hope. and start giving memories.
leaving behind the days we spend in isolation. it's our
choice to live or to die. we move on. you are this light.
you always will be. burning down. burn. burning down.
i've lost my ground. melted from inside. a rotten field
that's left. a black space inside of me. it has all gone.
the sense of delight. replaced by black bitterness. a dark
appetite. the pure instinct to exist. my only motivation
to carry on. love me, hurt me, burn me down again. could
you please release me from this pain. growing and see your
mistakes. what do i expect? i need to get along. find a way.
let go. forget. and don't look back.
|
|
2. |
|
|
|
|
I took the train and arrived in the dirt. this little tragedy
is more than a airplane crash. maybe I already forgot this one
thing. the shade that let grow what i am. this dark stripe that
let me stand out. comparing our lives. comparing our worlds.
looking back it makes me ashamed. I'm sorry. when I close my
eyes. I see my mistakes. I shut my mouth and say the wrong words.
I couldn't miss your helping words more than now. but
everything's gone. desperation took control over me. despair walks
close to me again. and I'm ruined by my own goddamn weakness.
broken. shattered. with no end in sight. I can't turn nowhere
without getting hurt. this is no life. this is a fucking prison
cell. I can't believe how much this pain hurts. can't believe how
deep you were into me. how low a man can get. faith. trust. betrayal
the second time. this line it leads us to total chaos. throw over
what meant the world to you. betrayal the second time. it's not the
same. colors change. eyes and voices. they ruin my life. it is not
the same. you can't help me. can't go on. can't stop this now. what
brought us here will bury our hearts. face down in the past. who or
what is burning now?
|
|
3. |
|
|
|
|
Again and again i try to separate the good days from the bad that we
had. and all you do is separating you and me. this takes more than i
expected. it seems like the downfall of the world. seen it come.
deedless years went on. i arrested myself. put my life into this personal
prison and torture this defenseless soul again. i tried so many times.
i tried it twenty-four-seven. but time seems not to be my friend. time
seems to give me some more stitches. time kills and so does distance.
what the fuck have i become.
|
|
4. |
|
|
|
|
so. this is how it feels to be. (forget what the past used to be).
this is how it feels to be. alone. remembering. walking with you under
traffic lights. (it meant so much more to me). protecting my injured heart.
the puddles on the grey concrete can't reflect the warmth you hold inside
your breast. rain can't wash away the guilt i bear for all of this. rain
won't clean up what you left in me. rain can't wash it away. rain won't
clean up anything that has been broken and spilled. loved and forgotten.
promised and laughed at. i just beg for honesty. and I am back at square
one. in year 25 after this misery has begun. i endured the ice-age and i
faced the sea. and all i earned are sleepless nights and what they call
personality. I am not enough. i never will be. no destination has got the
right way for me. I am not enough. this is just me.
|
|
5. |
|
|
|
|
Lean back. counteract. how many times have you been there? where nothing will ever grow again. no faith. no cure. no words for an excuse. too little. too late. i saw you once there. picking up nails and screws. deep into the mud of what a man can feel. deep into the mud. caught in a condition apart of things will work out. deep into mud. play against the time. counter-clockwise i run. exploit myself for being lost in the end. can't change myself (within the years). hold on. just a minute. stop to breathe. hold on.
just a minute. begin to realize the weight of the past. hold on. just a minute.
i know it can't be wrong. and I know that. your wounds have just been healed. but your worried thoughts can not be concealed. a feeding cancer. deep inside. you breathe your last. i know it can't be wrong to follow what burns inside your chest.
|
|
6. |
|
|
|
|
(instrumental)
|
|
7. |
|
|
|
|
cross out all good intentions. back to the trouble plan. headfirst. eyes
closed. and now it got me again. here it comes. prepare for wrong words
and misinterpretations. get ready this will bring us to our knees again.
i can already smell the bloody ground to which my head is falling to.
again these moments strike back. i could not suffer more. my notions lead
into a thousand directions. two years back. find out what you have learned.
some things seem so close and familiar today. two years back. see what has
changed. two years back. my favourite mistake. reflections in your eyes.
god - it's still me. cry those tears. i would miss them somehow. it's all
i ever wanted. here and now. it's all i ever suffered. close to my face.
secrets that should have been kept secret.
|
|
8. |
|
|
|
|
came to the wrong decision. got my backpack - i'm ready to leave. it's gonna take more than we both expected. young and naive. unsure and self-deceptive. i am not afraid. this journey already took a couple of years. right now it feels good to be uncertain where this life will bring me to. buried all
memories that used to upset my day-after-life. turned yesterday into today.
i know you can't believe. Because you spent your whole confidence on me. it's funny to see how we change and how we pave our way. with glorified memories of sad days.
|
|
9. |
|
|
|
|
It's more than this heart can bear. light up the dim rooms where i rot.
where have i gone? these eyes have seen too much. enough to bleed from
inside out. go back. back down. never let these thoughts harm me again.
and i beg. please understand this. just one more time. and i'll try to be
the red in your life. did you never see or realize. understanding you as
the acting part in a time of standstill in my life. maybe the burden that
you had to bear was way too heavy. a way to escape. twisting between the
condition of compassion and a burning hate against myself. and i am twisting. and twisting. and twisting. with dirty hands covering my eyes. hasting down the wrong path while suppurating and bleeding to mark the way back home. i'll never overcome this vice that seems to me like the only emotion that my heart is willing to give. that my body is willing to feel.
|
|
10. |
|
|
|
|
from where it starts. to where it ends. it's a trail of pain and self-abuse.
I'm blessed with love. I'm blessed with passion. shapes stay the same.
the rules are only adjusted. there is no new birth. no second coming.
i'm taking steps like I'm walking on thin ice. on thin ice. there is no
romantic new beginning. no new pair of curious bright eyes. there is no
new seed to plant. no new streets to explore. no new cities to grow up in.
no new promises to hang on to. no misspelled words of love and fidelity.
no more nights to chat away. no more reasons to waste your day. no new
friends to lose. no new faces to adore. no new lips to lick and pass away.
no decisions to regret.
|
|
11. |
|
|
|
|
in love with the dirt and the rejected crippled. kissing the gloom away
from the heads of beaten old men. stop looking for answers. in a world of
disappointment. in a fucked-up world of faded dreams and vows. this is my
space. this is the place i won't betray. please leave me now. there's nothing
left to gain. to fulfill your dreams of bright horizons. and whistled songs
of happiness. it's now. it's right here. it's the same disgusting stench
like twenty years before.
|
released in september 2005 by New Age Records (CD version) and Assault Records (vinyl).
released September 1, 2005
